No matter what stage of wedding planning you’re in, every bride will inevitably have a meltdown. Perhaps it’s a screaming match with a parent over the guest list or tears as the credit card charges pile up or even hysterical laughter as the list of things to do far outweighs the list of things completed. Take a moment to breathe.
Whether you’re in the beginning stages of wedding planning (Congrats on your engagement!), a couple months in (You’ve got this, keep going!) or a few weeks out to your wedding day (The end is near, hang in there!), it’s important to take a moment to remember why you’re planning your wedding to begin with.
Although I was very organized and ahead in terms of planning, the waves of panic that consumed me throughout the wedding planning process came more frequently than an L train in Chicago. There were many times, particularly towards the end, when I was crippled with anxiety as I thought about everything in my control that needed to get done and everything out of my control I was hoping would go right.
I vividly remember talking with a great married friend of mine a week or so before my wedding who significantly helped my husband Andrew and I throughout our planning process. I was on the phone with her and I was telling her about the anxieties I had for the wedding day. What if the weather is bad? What if the previous wedding before mine runs late and cuts into our ceremony time block at the church? What if everything runs late that day?
She said the most comforting words anyone could say to me at that time. And no, it wasn’t the usual (and enraging) “Don’t worry, it’ll be okay!” or “You got this! Everything will be fine.” or even “How can I help?” Although my friend was extremely helpful and that question is nice, there are just some tasks only a bride or groom can complete so the question gets old.
Instead, my wonderful friend said, “I know it’s stressful and there’s so much left to do, but just remember that no matter what happens on your wedding day, if you and Andrew get married that day, your wedding is a success. And if everything else you planned works out too, it’s a bonus.”
Her words were perfect. It felt as if a weight was literally lifted off my shoulders.
How often as brides do we get so caught up in the wedding planning process and the stresses associated with it that we forget the reason why we’re getting married in the first place? I loved wedding planning overall (I must have if I’m in the industry now!), and I would say I was an atypical bride when it came to my wedding details, but even for a bride like me there were times I was so consumed with the details of wedding planning that it took over my thoughts and my life. My friend kept me grounded that day by reminding me of the reason why I was wedding planning in the first place, and it helped me put everything into perspective.
Brides, I know how stressful wedding planning can be, especially when the brunt of it falls on your shoulders. The guest list, the invitations, hiring vendors, the differing family opinions, the costs… the list seems never-ending and it will get to you. But know this: No matter how well you plan your wedding, there will be mishaps on your wedding day. Now that doesn’t mean you should give up and not plan thoroughly—good planning pays off. It just means that things can and will go wrong because some things are simply out of your control.
BUT if you get married on your wedding day—as in you get to recite your vows to your partner and speak the promises you intend to keep to your significant other—your wedding will be a WILD SUCCESS.
Because at the end of the day, that’s what your wedding is all about. Not the flowers or the lighting, or even the music or the food. The details, more often than not, are for the guests, but the purpose of the wedding is for you and your partner. It’s about celebrating the unique love between the two of you.
If you can remember that during the wedding planning process (and the earlier the better if possible), you will have a sense of peace and joy no guest or detail mishap will be able to take away from you on your wedding day.
No matter how crazy things may get during wedding planning, remind yourself what the big picture and purpose is of your wedding day and planning will become more manageable. Just think: One day and decision at a time. Before you know it, you’ll be standing before your fiancée pledging your love to one another.
Cheers to wedding planning and, more importantly, cheers to you and your future spouse!
Monday, May 15, 2017